I'll admit it. I'm a big self-help book junkie. My addiction has only been exacerbated by my recent discovery of Amazon.com (yeah, I know, a little late), and how discounted all their books are! Self help books are great because it reassures you that although you may feel incredibly lonely or lost in a particular situation, you aren't the only one whose been through it. The majority of the self help books I've read are regarding romantic relationships, although I've also read some about manifestation, forward thinking, and living a "happier life".
One book I found quite helpful when I broke up with my first boyfriend was, How to Break Your Addiction to a Person, by Howard Halpern. This book made me realize that I loved having the company of him, not being with him. I was addicted to his presence, the security he offered me, but really didn't like anything about him as a person. It sounds terrible, and I felt like crap. How could I let myself waste three and a half years with a person simply because I was used to having them around? This book made me feel OK. It explained why thousands upon thousands of people do the same thing. It helped me get the courage to break up with him, and made me realize I needed to be comfortable alone.
Coming Apart, by Daphne Kingma, claims to be the "cure to a broken heart". While I'm not sure it's a "cure", it certainly helped me get through my first breakup. It's similar to books like It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken, but aimed at an older audience. Once again, it made me realize that the pain I was feeling was a pain nearly everyone has felt in their entire life. It taught me that the feeling was only temporary, and that over time, I'd be able to love again (and it happened again!). I'm thinking I may need to re-read this book.
Most recently, post narcissism discovery (see below), I've read two books about narcissists: Narcissism: Denial of Self Truth (which I annotated, underlined, and thinking about sending my ex with a birthday card at the end of the month saying READ THIS! IT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE!) and Help, I'm In Love A With Narcissist. These books made me realize that my ex has a serious, serious problem. They helped me stop crying, get out of the house, and begin living life again. I am so appreciative of these books. Narcissism: The Denial of Self Truth, is written by a PhD and is much more psychology based. Help, I'm In Love With A Narcissist, is written by two regular people who have a ton of relationship stories and advice to share. Much of the book is based on real life scenarios that are picked apart by the authors (Steven Carter and Julia Sokol). Both of these books reassured me that ending the relationship was the right thing to do, and that it was likely to get worse. Imagine if I married the narcissist? Many of the stories were about people who were married to them, and they were heartbreaking to read.
Finally, both Lily and I like Dr. Phil (actually, Lily LOVES him), and we both jokingly gave one another Love Smart. Dr. Phil takes you step by step through the process of figuring out what type of mate you're looking for, where to find him, how to get his attention, and how to make him yours. It's very straightforward and simplified.
What are some of your favorite self-help books?
*Ashley*
Sunday, June 15, 2008
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2 comments:
Hello. found this blog at Nachi's blog...
I have to admit...at first I thought it was bostons ass.com.
but I really have enjoyed this first post. I'm off to read more.
Hey Ashley!
Your comment on my blog really made me laugh. Thanks for stopping by.
Just like Matt above me, I wasn't sure what your blog name spelled out. Got to say, that's a pretty clever name or maybe, just a clever play of words ;p
I don't know if I would call the following book a self-help book BUT I think you'll really enjoy it. Try "Orbitting the Giant Hairball" by Gordon McKenzie. It's about using creativity to deal with your corporate life but it applies to more than corporate life. If anything, you will LOVE the last chapter.
I'd also tell you to read "The Little Prince" by Antoine de St Exupery. It's a children's book but every time I read it, I get something new out of it.
I'd then suggest "As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen. He's basically the father of all self-help book. It's super short (22-28 pgs?) but very simple to read.
Finally, I'd tell you to listen/read David Deida's "Enlightened Sex". He describes stages of relationships that are quite enlightening. It really explains to you the importance for a woman to be feminine and for a man to be masculine.
Can't think of anything else right now ;p Good luck!
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