So Far, Age Ain't Nothin' But a Number

The dating an older man updates as promised.

Positives to dating a man in his mid-30s:

• He offers to pick me up instead of making me take the T to meet him somewhere.
  
• He opens the car door for me. And every door. And pulls out my chair in restaurants. Wow.
  
• He takes me out for really nice dinners. And enjoys really good food. And isn't afraid to try new things.
  
• Good in bed would be an understatement.
  
• He has an extremely amazing body. As in, better than most 25 year old guys I've seen.
  

Negatives:

• It's possible that he parties a bit much for someone his age. I haven't really seen it but it seems as though he goes out a lot and gets restless easily just sitting around. But then he is a bachelor living in Boston so what is he really supposed to do?

Other than that, I have yet to really find any negatives, except that he'll be 40 in 4 years, which scares the hell out of me. And he has shampoo for thinning hair in his shower

All talk of age aside, I actually really like the guy. He's cute (well, I think he's h-o-t) and fun and we've been having a good time together.

And so, the saga will continue. I thought this would die out a lot faster than it seems to be, so I'm just going to continue to enjoy it. And him. And his body.

*Lily*

Be Nice or Be a Biotch?

Suppose you're on a date, and you've figured out pretty quickly (or maybe even not that quickly) that it's not going anywhere. Not that you're not having a good time, or the person isn't fun, nice, or cool... you just know there are differences that would not result in a second date.

I've been in this position twice recently. With both men, I had a great time. We went out, ate, drank, and enjoyed good conversation. However, about halfway through the dates, I knew I had no interest in going out on a second date. My question is, should I be nice and have fun, or turn into a bitch to avoid any awkward "follow-up" calls? Maybe I should just set it straight at the end of the date, when we part our own ways? This is difficult, because I am a genuinely nice person, and if I'm having a fun time, I'm going to show it. However, I've always had problems with men in my life (even generally speaking) confusing my niceness for being "sexually/relationship-wise" interested in them.

What to do?

*Ashley*

Dating an Older Man- Asking For Trouble?

Age ain't nothin' but a number, right? So says Aaliyah anyway. But is she right? In my opinion, absolutely not. Age is way more than a number; it's the number of years you've been alive on this planet. And I think that must mean something. But does it mean enough to stop me from dating an older man?

For some strange reason, Ashley and I are constantly hit on by older men. I recently met one that I actually might kind of like. The problem? He's almost 11 years older than me. So what, you might say. So, I say, what the hell is wrong with him that he's still single? Harsh, I know, but really? You're hot, have a great sense of humor, seem to have some serious dough and a beautiful apartment. Clearly something must be off for you to be 36 and single. And just how long is it going to take for me to find that something out?

Because it is a belief of mine that lists solve everything, I've been forced to come up with a list of pros and cons to dating older men and I will now present them to you:

Why older men can potentially rock my world:

• They're over a lot of the issues 20-something guys seem to have (20-something boys are all so confused and lost)
• They have a stable job and money (hey, it doesn't hurt)
• They're over the partying lifestyle but still know how to have a good time (hopefully)
• They know what they're looking for in a relationship
• They're ready to settle down (also, see below)

Why I should stay far, far away from older men:

• They're ready to settle down (also, see above)
• There must be a reason they're still single
• They're probably afraid of commitment and have way too much experience being smooth
• They will age a lot faster than you and may slow down far before you're ready
• They grew up in a different generation and there way be too much of a gap. Can I really date someone who doesn't know what it's like to be a child of the 80s??

Clearly my list didn't solve a thing seeing as I'm still deeply confused as to why this fine specimen of a man is still single. In any event, I did agree to go on another date with him and will continue to write any developments. And when I figure out what is wrong with him, you will be the first to know.

Because I'm about 98% sure there is something wrong with him. But until then, I'll just enjoy his hotness.

*Lily*

Google- Friend or Foe?

For me, Googling isn't a question. It's inevitable. As soon as I meet a prospect, I Google them. Weird? Stalkerish? Possibly. But whatever is on the Internet is public information and isn't going to be kept hidden. This means that whatever, and I mean, WHATEVER I come across, definitely helps me form a conclusion whether I should go on a date with a person, if they are dateable, or even if they are "boyfriend" material, etc.

Patrick warned me on our first date that he had some "questionable" material on the Internet. He was a part time journalist and often wrote about dating, sex, drugs and alcohol, and typical guy randomness. When I found the 100+ articles online for myself, I proceeded to read every single one of them, mouth wide open, and occasionally forwarded/IMed the juiciest ones to Lily and others. While it was entertaining, I really didn't want to hear about what he thought of fake boobs. Or women hitting on him. "Whatever", I thought. We all laughed about it. Now, I think this could have been one of the first signs he was a freak!

Lily and I went on a double date a few nights ago (to be written about later), and of course, we both Googled our prospects. Nothing juicy came of hers, although I'm still questioning her keywork and quotation-mark skills. However, I found quiiiiite a bit of information on my prospect. Without going into specifics, there was no doubt in my mind, even before our first date, that this was going nowhere. After reading quite a few pages, articles, and reviews, I basically learned his age, family history, all about his job, and general life of the past 15 years. It's difficult, because one should keep an open mind when going into a situation, or developing any type of relationship with someone new.

My only advice is this. Be careful of what you put on the Internet. Always remember that this is public, and anyone (even your mom, dad, employer, and yes... your potential date) can read it.

*Ashley*